Я тільки що дізнався про змагання перших речень на честь Едуарда Булвера-Літтона, в якого в одному з творів було доволі абсурдне власне перше речення. Якщо чесно, може я до кінця не вловлюю абсурдності власне його речення, але переможці конкурсу абсолютно дикі:

Cassie smiled as she clenched John's hand on the edge of an abandoned pier while the sun set gracefully over the water, and as the final rays of light disappeared into a star-filled sky she knew that there was only one thing left to do to finish off this wonderful evening, which was to throw his severed appendage into the ocean's depths so it could never be found again--and maybe get some custard after. 

або

I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn't help—I was fresh out of salami.

Там ще купа кайфових є, навіть трохи шкода, що на конкурс пишуть тільки перше речення, хочеться продовження. 😁